CRITICAL THINKING IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP

CRITICAL THINKING IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP

According to George Eliot, our survival as social beings depends in large part on our interpersonal relationships as well as interpersonal communication. “How perfect and unique a relationship would be and become commence from the initiator” (Karl Marx). 

Critical thinking as defined as simply as the ability to engage in reasoning discourse with intellectual standards such as clarity, accuracy, precision and logic, and to use analytic skills with fundamental value orientation that emphasises intellectual humility, integrity and fair mindedness, is very crucial and  a vital spice in our relationships. 

Without critical and creative thinking, our relationships become stunted and easily fragmented by the little bullets of crises 

There are many types of relationships. Amongst them is dyadic relationship which is described as the ancestor of every relationship. It is the rose flower which attracts pests and insects because of its succulent scents and pleasantries. Every relationship begins with the first two people – how effective they manage it; breeds a triadic relationship. 

Triadic relationships emerge from dyadic partners. This type of relationship demands a critical thinking and thinker as well to maintain and balance it – if not, it is easily sent to its grave. The rationale being that: if care is not taken, two counterparts may turn to love each other than the remaining partner. 

When communication is also not managed well, it is easy to trigger hatred, dishonesty as well as conflict among the partners. Therefore, it requires a perfect planning of task by the holders to make it a very unique one.

The cogent type of relationship which requires a proper thinking and displaying of all the basic pivotal figures of critical thinking is the casual and intimate relationship. 

It could be between mother and child, husband and wife, father and children, and a family as a whole. This relationship needs a special attention and attendance. 

It can make and unmake life. This type of relationship could be so devastating if not controlled with critical thinking. 

Another unique and an extra-ordinary type of relationship which critical thinking needs to  be operated with – like electricity and water  is, dating, love and marital relationship. It is an ordained and a predestined type of relationship which cannot be eradicated from life’s endeavour. 

This relationship is so sacrosanct and requires to be held with critical thinking and care. As the popular saying goes “behind any successful man is a woman”, so as “behind any unsuccessful man is a catastrophic and a disastrous woman”. 

Each partner could contract heart attack, go in sane, and even loose their lives if it is not approached with care. It requires a careful planning, studying as well as the willingness of each partner to forgo life’s comfort at the expense of the other. 

They must also forgo their whims and caprices as well as their parochial interest to make the relationship the healthy one. Its’ mishandling could affect the innocent children who emerge out of it.

How ever, critical thinkers are able to note and apply the following in any of their relationships.

Supportive and defensive climates: These are dominant periods in any given relationship – It could be sweet honey or bitter bile. The supportive climates are the pleasant aspects or times you enjoy in the relationship. 

When you find yourself in luxuries, wealth and good times, you should bare in mind that no condition is permanent – things could easily change from best to worse. 

On the other hand, the defensive climates are the conditions in the relationship that make us unsure or threatened. When such storms hit the relationship, they must think critically to restore things as quick as possible. They must prevent counter-blast but ensure terms of endearments to quench the blazing flame in the relationship.

Dependencies and counter dependencies. Aristotle said “no one is an island of his own”. He also said “it is evident that the state is creature of nature, and that man is by nature a social animal – therefore, he who has no need because he is self sufficient, must be either a beast or a god”. 

 Our indigenous people say “the left hand washes the right hand and vice versa”. Each partner must be willing to extend a helping arm to the other. They must support each other when things are not going well. 

How ever, this does not mean there should be unnecessary expenditure in the relationship. Partners should minimise cost in the relationship to its minimum level to maintain a smooth platform for the relationship when financial break down happens and also to maintain neutral dependency grounds in the relationship – unnecessary expenditure brings the relationship to a halt when things are not the same as it were from the beginning. 

Progressive and regressive spirals in the relationship are recognized by critical thinkers. These are the continuous harmful increase or decrease in the relationship, that gets its’ faster progress or faster regress. 

Partners must be cautious about their behaviour  conduct as well as their interpersonal communication. These behaviours can either be fertile grounds for the growth of the relationship or the wind spread devastating fire which could decongest the vital aspect of the relationship.

 Respect, obedience and truthfulness should also be held at a high esteem in the relationship. Each member must respect the views of the other. Partners should not think their views are the best and turn to be autocrats or dictators in the relationship because knowledge is not found in one person’s head – two heads are better than one. 

Partners should also think critically to obey and abide by the likes and dislikes of the other. 

Truthfulness is another vital tool in relationship. “It takes thousand years to build trust but it takes a second to break trust” (Aristotle). Little-little lies could generate mistrust in the relationship which allows little rumours to turn off the fire in the relationship.  

  The final straw that breaks the camel’s back is the exchange of gifts and showing of gratitude to each partner. Partners must appreciate what ever the other donates to them. Petty-petty gifts en-kindle the smooth run of the relationship.